DNC throws caution to the wind, Nominates The Corpse Of LBJ For New Jersey Governor Race
NEWARK- Deciding to just throw in the towel, the Democratic National Committee has just handed their party’s nomination for governor to the decomposing corpse of Lyndon B. Johnson. The deceased 36th President of the United States was chosen after no other viable candidates could be found that were willing to run in the upcoming election. “We felt that the former president would poll just as well, if not more favorably when we presented him to focus groups,” said a top state level DNC leader, as she was rolling LBJ’s coffin into a boardroom to discuss the direction of his campaign. At press time, sources were reporting that the campaign was moving towards hiring an actual donkey to run the campaign.